Restorative Community Concepts
Counselling
“Only the courageous go here!”
I jokingly share that I believe this statement should be posted over the counselling room door. In nearly 20 years of counselling, I have found that most people who come to counselling do so involuntarily – at least at first. Some have been persuaded because life has gotten too difficult. Some are forced by a parent, a spouse, school, or an employer. I hope the following questions and answers will help demystify the process a bit and give you a sense of who I am. I have tried to answer these questions frankly; in the same way I would if I were sitting across the room from you. If you have questions that are not addressed here, please feel free to send me an email.
Interested in becoming a client? Email admin@rccounselling.com
Do I have to come every week?
No, you don’t have to come every week. We'll talk about what works for you. I recognise that many factors affect how frequently clients can come.
Am I able to meet you before I start counselling to see if it is a good fit?
Yes, I am happy to have a 20-minute session. I have found that in that time, prospective clients are able to provide an overview of what they are looking for; I am able to provide an overview of how I work, and it is sufficient time for a vibe check – so to speak.
What happens in the first session?
The first session is an opportunity for me to get to know you and what has brought you to therapy. We can start where you are comfortable. The first session often goes by quickly and sometimes flows into the second session. This means that even if you want to come less than weekly, it may help to have two sessions in two weeks, so we have a solid foundation for what you want to work on and how that fits into your work, family, and friends. Usually, by the end of the first session, I can provide an overview of how I plan to approach our work together. I may provide alternatives options and will want to know your preferences and whether the plan seems relevant to you.
What are your areas of speciality?
Trauma. I have been working in varying capacities responding to sudden, random, arbitrary trauma for almost 40 years. I have responded onsite and in the counselling room. It has been my primary focus throughout my career. This has includeds death, grief & loss, natural disasters, industrial accidents, and intentional injury by one person to another.
Teens. When I started as a counsellor almost 20 years ago, I did not set out to be a teen counsellor. But they came, and I enjoyed working with them, and they kept coming back. I love this stage of life. I loved it with my own kids (I was not a perfect mom!) and have learned so much from my teen clients. Teens, I think, are truth-tellers because they see injustice and unfairness and call it out, or act it out. We can learn from them if we are willing to listen. Sometimes they act in self-defeating and ineffective ways. Often parents are devastated by what their children have done, and yes, certainly we would have preferred they had made better choices. But now that we have them in the counselling room, we can teach them skills they can use for a lifetime.
I see Singapore as a place small enough that it is hard to be a specialist, so beyond the work I do with trauma and teens, I work across the spectrum of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, self-harming, relationship challenges (parental and couples) and addiction. I work with 14-year-olds and up.
Issues that I will refer to other specialists include eating disorders and OCD. Please feel free to contact me if you want those referrals.
You are an ang mo (white person) and I am not. How can you bridge that gap?
I remain curious. There will always be a lot more for me to learn. But having said that, I have had a lot of experience in intercultural contexts academically, professionally, and personally. My work comes from a place of curiosity, seeking to reduce my assumptions and explore clients' experiences from their perspective.
I see myself as having a strong intercultural lens. I think I was primed for this in grade school when I lived with my family in Japan and then travelled around the world with my family before returning to the US. I moved to Washington, DC, in the 1980s and coordinated a crisis response project that focused on serving Southeast DC, at the time a predominately black area of the city, at a time when DC was unfortunately labelled the "murder capital."
I have lived in Singapore and worked interculturally in Southeast Asia for over 25 years. I have worked clinically and provided training with individuals and families from many different cultural contexts (ethnic, religious, nationality, ability, gender, economic, age, etc.).
Academically, I obtained my Master’s degree in Singapore as the only foreigner in the program, which included working as a probation officer. My doctoral research focused on the ethical cultural transposition of service approaches by Western practitioners. I have recently supported the writing of a book chapter on cultural humility. Led a course on Cross-Cultural Social Work Theory for Monash University in Singapore for Chinese, Malay and Indian students (Monash had to deliberate whether they were comfortable with an American teaching the class).
In many ways, though not entirely, I live locally in Singapore (not in the expat bubble).
Are you part of the queer community? Do you have a clue what my life is like?
Honestly, not first-hand, and that is something you will want to consider. I have, however, worked with many gay, lesbian, trans and questioning clients. They have taught me a lot. Sometimes they ask me to read things to better understand their experience, such as one of my favourite books: Velvet Rage. I make sure I receive supervision from a professional with experience in this community.
What about spirituality?
Is it okay for that to be part of the conversation?
Yes, I am not an expert on spirituality. But I know that it is, for many people, a lens that guides them, or sometimes haunts them through life and to leave that out of the conversation would be ignoring the elephant in the room. We can talk about it as much or as little as you need.
What guides the way you work?
A strong foundation in cognitive behavioural therapy in parallel with recognizing the inherent value and worth of each individual that helps develop a great understanding and appreciation for oneself, while trying to untangle the hard parts that are getting in the way of living the way we would like to. Components of this eclectic approach include:
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Working from a strengths-based perspective, which recognises that we are shaped as much by our "good" habits or strengths as by our "bad" habits, and finds that leaning into our strengths is often more successful than trying to eradicate our so-called weaknesses. Part of this is the belief that conflict often results from miscommunication and misunderstandings, rather than an intention to cause harm. However, I do also believe that sometimes willful blindness can be at play and needs to be challenged. This is particularly important when clients are facing social justice issues. Domestic violence survivors, victims of crime, migrant workers and other minority groups.
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Working from a position of transparency, endeavouring to articulate my theoretical framing. Especially if I am working with someone with a different cultural background (which is almost always now), I might say, from my position, this is how I would approach X, Y, Z, and this is why, but I realise that may be different in your context.
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Working from a place of partnership. It is my place to bring thinking reframes, tools, and resources, but ultimately my clients are experts on themselves, what they want or are willing to do, and what they think will work. I appreciate clients who challenge me, and I send an evaluation requesting feedback after every session.
Clients have told me that I am very practical and a gentle therapist. One of my clients said to me, “That’s too hard. Can you break it down?” And we did. The work we do together has to make sense to you and feel relevant to why you came to counselling.
What training have you had?
I am trained (MSS) and registered (RSW-0145) as a social worker. This means that I don’t just consider the person in the room; I also consider the environment at home, work, school and in society as I work with clients to understand and address their challenges. I have a Primary Certificate in Rationale Emotive Behaviour Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, EMDR Level I and Level 3 Advanced @ SAFE Interviewing (safeguarding). I have received training in attachment therapy, solution-focused therapy, mindfulness, neuropsychotherapy, trauma-sensitive practice, building resilience, moral injury, restorative justice practice, compassion fatigue, somatic body-based work, working with severe trauma & stress, responding to workplace traumas, and trauma-focused therapy with adults.
How do you approach supervision for counsellors or other mental health professionals?
I take a holistic approach to supervision, which means that we can address anything that may be having an impact on the counselor's work - a difficult case, building skills, or addressing personal issues (usually current) that might be affecting clinical work. I have experience supervising mental health professionals, crisis response professionals, designated safety leads, and school counsellors.